For my sister, who is such a hypocrite.

Since my sister pointed it out on Facebook, I have to blog now. Or at least do a post-mortem on the online dating thing.

All my dates?

Went away.

The End.

Okay, no not really. But ShortGuy, aka PianoGuy, decided I was too in love with him for him to string me along like that. This might have been painful, except that I wasn't.

Fabio. . .well, my feelings were hurt by him. Two weeks out, and my feelings still are a bit bruised. As is my ego. I really did like him, and what's worse, I believed the "we'll be friends" line as well. (I know, you'd think I would loan out my Dar Williams CD to a short guy, or give a bum pretending to be a parking attendant $5 only to watch him run. . .but I am far too smart for either of those things.)

The ego. It does have some bruises.

Anyway, the capper was seeing NoNick match with me on OKCupid. If you are really lucky--or maybe unlucky--I just might share the link. It's a skoshe frightening. The worse part is that he's one of the more acceptable people I've seen on there. I seem to have run through the more acceptable people who would date me.

Also. . .I'm taking some me time out. I'm trying to get back to the me I really am, rather than the me I was trying to be for the last number of years. I had my tarot cards read on Monday night (by the wife of someone I "met" at the online dating site, no less, and you know that has got to be a blog post in itself). And no, the reading wasn't vague, it was a pretty direct hit. Enough to make me sit back and go "hmmmm."

I went back and transcribed it afterwards, so here's what it is:

I get the Sage, and here he's a stern judeo christian sort of god, big guy on throne. Part of what you're struggling with is images of masculine, masculine deity, deity, big cultural broad issues & the way they impact you on a personal level. So this is like dad, exes, all the bigger than life badness in your head. All of that is getting in your way--he looks very judgmental, very stern, and it's all getting in the way of being the creative, deply feeling loved and cherished person that you are and it blocks your intuition, being able to see your way through.

So from me, the assignment is to deal with dad stuff, god stuff, and find a slightly kinder image of masculinity to replace some of the sterness and judgment in your head.

So. Hmmm. Now I'm not going to get all woo woo or heinie shaking or anything. But here is a relative stranger calling me out on losing my sensitiveness. And, dammit, I'm supposed to be the sensitive one.

I need to find that part of me.

I think I saw her last around 2002.